It's like having my wings clipped....
* image is from http://s3.amazonaws.com/rapgenius/1376977650_methyl-ripped-adrenaline-zombie.gif
Now I don't know what it would be like having wings clipped, but I am imagining some similarities here. I had this idea one day that I would just go reset my accumlating adrenaline levels. Sounds weird? Don't let weird distract you... Anyways, I was pretty much going 100 miles per hour (weeeeeeee). I did think it through beforehand but I have also just realised I havent got a plan for how I'm supposed to be getting stuff done...... Oh and the eating habits that come with it are distress. Madness! More crackers please... I can't stop.....
For some people, adrenaline is great. I for one love adrenaline. A biit of fun. Boring is exciting. It's like this fantastic, free and street yuk free drug. Whenever I faced something it was like my body's natural response was just to pump more adrenaline. It worked. Got me through. Felt good. Can I have some more please? The story about why I have done this is well, another story, but, yeah, massive adrenaline reset and even though I'm enjoying the slow pace I er kind of have massive amounts of University Assignments and content to get cracking on and my daily life to carry on as normal and I just havent got what I had a few weeks ago anymore. I'm a bit stumped on exactly how I'm supposed to do this.
I miss waking up with the same levels I went to sleep with. I miss having all this energy to throw around. Instead, I look at everyone differently and wonder 'How the heck do you people live like this? It is so hard" I may wake up every morning not giving a crap, relaxed and feeling 'chill baby' but really, I hate it. I'm starting to miss carrying around all that energy. I've even got all this stuff I reeeeeaaaally want to post about, but 'I don't feel like it.'
A big sorry to everyone who likes me like this. The truth is, some people think I'm great like this but I was having fun before and I was getting stuff done. I'm going to have to get it back. I can't live without it. I've got stuff to do.
Unfortunately there's no shortcut though and I havent even got a plan so I'll have to make it up as I go along.
Fuck it.
-Mez.