Workplace Farewells... Do's and Don'ts

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Well I guess this is where I'm at now. I'm not too pleased either. Just when I had decided to stick things out and stay at the job I'm at (about 4 or 5 weeks ago) I have instead been positioned with very little work at all. i've gone from working 36hour weeks to 8 or even 4 hour weeks. I have picked up another 16 hours a week elsewhere by timed chance alone but you can imagine that might not be enough work for me if I'm claiming that I need to work to pay my bills. I tried negotiating more shifts. I might have 8 hours a week guaranteed (maybe not an additional) that is still only 24 all up. I've been told there's just no work for me. I'm gonna try hang around but the pattern hasnt been very good. I admit I'm a bit nervous and I have no idea what the new year will bring. So I guess the next thing is just to be ready any day now for the chance it will all fall through and its really just my 16 hours. Should I start looking for work elsewhere? It may come up eventually. Just in case, I'm going to be ready to say goodbye now and work every shift at my former job (uh the 4-8hours a week one) just in case.

So here's my Do's and Don'ts of workplace farewells. What do you do when it is time to say goodbye?

Do

Absolutely tell that smoking hot guy you have been crushing on that you think he is smokin hot - or amazing or somthing. Use whatever language or phrases you want. You may not ever see him again, so who cares. If for some reason you do see him again at least you got it over with. Piece of cake right....?

Tell anyone who was great to work with that it was great working with them. Its a good thing to do. It even feels good. It doesnt have to be so clear cut or obvious. It can also be done casually and people might think you are just being nice. It doesnt have to be a big deal.

If you are really sure its a point of no return, let your customers or clientelle know you are going. People hate being left to guess what happened... or is that just me?

Wrap up all your responsibilities and provide the best and smoothest 'handover' of these. Pay bills, close accounts, post, lodge it. Tell someone. There's nothing worse than having to take on someone elses workload and have no idea how much ground has already been covered, who has been contacted and what is coming up. It's great for having people remember you as that kind of coworker -the better kind that is.

Be clear about why you are leaving and tell the appropriate person in HR or Management or both. If you have a grievence, dont be emotional just be clear. If you got a better job then thank them and let them know you accepted an opportunity. If you have fuck all shifts and that was really important to you and nothing changed then drop the f* bomb somewhere else and let them know that you were disappointed when things did improve after you spoke to them. Just remember written words become the record. If you use it make it count.

Say goodbye. Ive never really been good at goodbyes it's like agreeing to part ways and I hate that when I dont love it. It is better to farewell properly. Having said that... I don't know when my last shift is so I'll be stuffing that one up, absolutely. The fact that I hate goodbyes just makes it worse.

Be really good about it. If you are leaving because of a grievance then yaaaaaay, you are outta here. If you are leaving because you got another job then yaaaaaaay even better. If you just don't have anywork then I guess that is too bad... yaaaay <insert something positive here. I can't think of anything>

Be very smart and clear about who may or may not be your work reference in future and then have or avoid that discussion as appropriate.

Dont

Maybe... and I say maybe... don't cry. I'm only sayin this because I cant think straight when I'm cryin. What about you? For me crying is the step before blowing my chance to say what I wished I actually said. Maybe you can multitask and you can do that ok. I fucking hate goodbyes... they just feel weird like its supposed to be a big deal and it can feel so final. I'm frowning (not crying) when I write this.... I don't like it when I cry, but I guess it cant be helped.

Don't mouth off at management. People love it when you make an ass of yourself if you already have a negative allegation or assumption about you, it makes them look better. Just don't. Your workplace identity is on the line. Is that how you want people to remember you? Don't answer that. I'm thinking of that scene in a movie where the guy quits his burger king job. This is it right here.

Don't slack off on all your last days, unless of course that was your manager's idea. I had a manager like that once. You probably don't. It's not ok. It's a rort and it is not good for your reputation. This includes not showing up on your last day of work.

Smear you ex employer or soon to be ex employer's name across town and the internet. I know a gal who did this. She went to court over it to. People find out

Don't worry about it. Sounds like a good idea. I'm writing it in here because it's important. I never follow these though, even though I write them. I wish I could but its very hard. The fact is that I'm just gonna try... this is how it should be.

Good luck to you too. If you are reading this from somewhere out there as the result of a random web search then I wish you all the best. It's a big world but and I try to remember that even the greatest misfortunes can be an adventure if you let them be.

-Mez