Feeling Flushed: Apex Park Exeloos
*image credit to http://www.echo.net.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/apex-toilets-640x427.jpg
Dear Reader(s)/subscriber(s),
If you haven't been to Byron Bay lately or if you are in to a strange cheap (in fact free) experience, head on over Apex Park. They have these Exeloos installed now. It was my first time. My first time experience was like pissing in an already wet elevator. The views are great and you can guarantee the cubicles wont be occupied for very long. Even the longest que is only minutes long.
I ended up in Byron Bay today. I hadn't realised what I was walking in to. I just needed to pee. On the way in all I had to prepare me was the remark made by a lady on her exit. 'You are in for a treat' she looked more confused than happy.
Hows about some pictures?
Just touch the door to open if the door isnt open already but only if the light is green.
Once inside you will be greeted by the Exeloo who welcomes you and wants you to make yourself comfortable. It reminds me of some kind of voiceover on a children's ride. Exeloo sounds a lot like the voice on the Heritage Park train... i wonder if I recall that correctly. Inisde, the anticipation is like waiting for a ride to start at Dreamworld, except here Exeloo encourages you to pee in your seat.
Once inside and you havent panicked and you genuinely need to go (and aren't just having a peak) go on and close the door by pressing the button. Now is the time to decide if you are backing out or not. Touch the button to lock and unlock..... Oh wait a minute... does that say the door will automatically unlock after 1 minute!?!?! ? I didn't even see this until ... well just now, many hours later. If you need to drop a pound of sausages in the 'ol pan and are likely to need more time then I encourage you walk down to the Railway Park.
Pretty ordinary toilet... thank goodness. The toilet will flush when hands are washed (elsewhere) or you can push the button on the wall. Might I add the floor was absolutley saturated and uh... there wasnt really anywhere to put my bag...
Meanwhile Exeloo is playing music very much suited to an elevator. Even shopping centre music doesnt sound like this anymore. Now this is where I am starting to think... does the voiceover sound more like that Halloween episode of the Simpsons in which they had that house robot thing installed that sounded like Pierce Brosnan and went all weird on them...
Hit the other button to get your paper. It portions it for you. No folding no scrunchin there just isnt much. Like I said before if you need to dump, now isnt the good time or place. Exeloo counts out your paper in rations. Use it wisely you are in Byron Bay now and conservation is a must.
Last but not least. Sensors will detect where you put your hand to asssist you to wash and dry... if you can do all that AND dry in under a minute. I had this all sorted for me as the hand dryer didnt work anyways, thus I stood there instead confused as to what do now instead so I took all these photos (except the header).
You can imagine, when I stepped out I dropped a comment of my own to those in line waiting, that is, in my best robotic Exeloo voice.
-Mez