What keeps me going: The story of others
*image credits to http://blogs.baruch.cuny.edu//overcomingadversity/files/2013/10/overcoming-adversity-help-yourself-believe-cubby-motivational-1289878102-1.jpg
So it's mid February. I'm doing reasonably ok with some of my goals for 2016 like when I decided to swear less and that I'd stop giving people the finger and laughing about it. A lot can happen in 6 or so weeks but that's the idea.
Late last year I mentioned how unsure the future seemed at work. I felt pretty powerless at that time. It was stressful. I felt unstable and uncertainty is too much adventure for me, except of course when I concientiously make that choice to dive in. I like to chose my 'unknowns' and adventures. I wasn't ready for it at the time. However, things are very different right now, work has been amazing on all fronts. I'm very busy and I can afford to take time off when I need to. Sometimes it's hard to accept but as uncertain as the future is that fact is that it's looking very good. I can't see more than a few weeks ahead at a time but it always looks good.
Late last year I started a new job while still keeping my former. Unbeknown to me at the time this new job was going to be so amazing and fulfilling it was going to satisfy me on so many domains. I still work two jobs and my original employer has been VERY good to me. The way I see the world has changed and sometimes I feel like I have all that I could ever ask for. Working that job has made working anywhere or doing anything else in life easier because the world feels so good. I'm happy. I'm at peace and I accept the world more often (I'm still not groovy with that lady face shaving thing). It's still not my dream job but I'm probably 10 years away from hitting that target, if I ever get there. I think I could stay in this limbo forever and be ok. I've got a foot in a hundred worlds and it feels more than ok it feels so amazing it's crazy. Nonetheless, let me tell you why I love it and why it works for me.
I have always loved hearing someone else's story, the good, the bad and the ugly. I have always wanted to know and understand how they got through those hard times and find out more. I adore what seems to be the most amazing thing of all -that acceptance. Sometimes I want to say. That's terrible. Tell me you got those bastards?! I adore those stories about someone else's experiences and knowing how they just coped or worse they were left for dead psychologically, emotionally or maybe even physically and they still don't have hate in their heart. It's something that inspires me. It reminds me how much we are capable of, how forgiving we can be, how strong and how alone, yet how good we can still be to other people. It can be done.
So the thing is, at my second job, primarily my job is to know everything about someone, this means asking very specific questions. What that's like is that I work days where I get to know people in ways in which I endlessly hear someone else's story. I ask them questions. They tell me more and I record it all. It fits me so good right now. I hear the story, I type it out and I get them heard. I've heard some tragic stories, some all round impossibly perfect stories and a whole lot of stories about how a person's past has changed them. I have been inspired, moved, sometimes shocked and sometimes outraged. I can comment but I have to be nuetral. That's just how it is.
So I love a good story and I love writing, although I tend to use a keyboard these days. Sometimes I get aches and get really paranoid about RSI but it's been worth it. I remember all those long nights I spent in the past writing assessments and reports and wishing I at least got paid for it because it seemed to go on forver. Now here I am. I've got two employers that are being VERY good to me right now and all the hours I need. All I got to do is show up.
So that's what's keeping me going right now. I think we can do amazing things and I like the idea. It reminds me that I probably can too.
Just keep going.
-Mez