Things I wish I didn't notice or think about when watching a movie
I have noticed that whenever I've been burning the candle at both ends, or when I'm super stressed or when I'm missing out on something fun I normally get to do that I seem to default to putting the tv on, watching movies or whatever is on the cable. The problem is though, when not in the most positive mood, I seem to keep thinking about things and sometimes I'm not as distracted from my stormy cloud as much as I intended to be. It's times like these, or when the movie gets boring that I notice the bits that bother me and I resent them.
Here's some things I have been thinking about.
It's pretty rare anyone ever needs to pee.
Sheesh, it's like I'd need to pee all the time. When you are watching a movie you need to duck out and then you miss some of the movie or you have to pause it. It's not like I even want to see more peeing on screen during a movie but I can't help but wonder how come more people don't die during a zombie apocalypse because you gotta stop and pee every now and then. I also wonder how those solo pilots go so long up there in their airplanes or jets without peeing. Do they pee in the plane? Do they have some kind of special baggie? Do they hold it in for many many many many many hours? I wonder.
In a warzone, disaster, zombie or armageddon movie no one looks like they need a shower (or any upkeep for that matter)
I also noticed that hardly anyone needs a shave and the girls often look like they've had no issues keeping up with their beauty routine. Not a hair growing ahead of schedule, or out of place for that matter either. Awesome! Here I was, worried that I would absolutely stink if it ever happened to me even though water could be scarce. Things are looking positive.
Too much arse in my face.
It doesn't matter whose arse it is. The more there is, the more I worry the cheaper the movie is and I begin to start fearing the plot, character building or if anything awesome is actually going to happen. This is made much worse when the content includes a sex scene that is pretty specific and just seems to go on forever. It sells. Find your own damn video.
Walking in to danger to investigate when you already know there are zombies or aliens.
Ok. Imagine this. You are scared out of your mind. You know something is out there. Do you just frolic off? This little girl Rachel does. I'm not sure why. Maybe she had some skittles or m'n'ms and she was hoping to see a cute little fat alien? Maybe she went outside to pee? Somebody lock that kid in. I don't get it. The following scene of course ends with an abduction.
Too much gore.
Yeh I like the zombie movies, but too much gore is too much gore. Like most things I can't handle I guess I wish some scenes were cut a bit shorter. 'SAW' was clever but the sequels (II, III and IV) weren't as clever. They were more yucky after that. There's a scene from Silent Hill that made me squirm. I love suspense and the adrenaline from a little bit of fear, but I wasn't expecting this. You better not click on the following vid, if you don't think you would like it either.
Stuff in general that doesn't make sense.
I never got over this one. Maybe it makes sense to you and I'm just stupid. Do you remember how shocking it was supposed to be in 'War of The Worlds' when the pants and clothes were falling from the sky? Shock. Horror. Hundreds of people have just been instantly incinerated! Uhm... yep.... but not the clothes, right? Amazing how do you vaporise someone but not their clothes? It still pisses me off. Every time I see it I think .....'F*n pants!'
When I thought the movie was about something else.
I have chosen movies in a hurry before. Sometimes other people pick movies and I agree because 'Oh yeh, that sounds good.' Two movies that need more zombies or aliens.... or any at all, would have to be 'These Final Hours' (needs zombies) and of course 'The Martian' (needs aliens). Ugh. When I got to the potatoes scene I realised my friend was soft and she had unintentionally tricked me. I suddenly realised the movie was going to be of very little interest to me and it was going to be mostly talking. Sheesh. Might I add, it even took too long to get to the potatoes. I got really excited when the potato tent ripped, as short as that scene was. ACTION! Then it was over. I haven't ruined the movie for you. Perhaps you will enjoy the parts I didn't connect to. I didn't even finish watching this 5 minute vid.
Last but not least. Don't we all hate it when the baddies or monsters win?
I gotta ruin just one ending for you. The Lazarus Effect. Oooh that movie got creepy real fast.
The gist is a bunch of student are exploring bringing dogs back to life. Someone dies. They bring her back. She goes psycho powerful and creepy (bad combo) and she wins. It then looks like she would like to bring everyone else back to life too. Hmmmm... the ramifications....
Well... back to it then.
No work tomorrow. A good vegging out is on the cards, as required.
Till next time.
-Mez