Let me Finish
OK. Before you read further. I just want to make something clear because it can be a topic people feel will uncomfortable about. Oh and especially because I'm horrid to be around when I'm sick (everyone is an arsehole except me). the thing is, I have a fascination about feelings and experiences that people have. A lot do make me uncomfortable too but I'm still drawn all the same. I just wanted to make it clear that it is a different kind of fascination and not an ideation or 'dark whatever it is this time'. My special interest has always been Trauma and I guess I'm drawn to books and studies about it (and of course resilience, healing and wellbeing). That stuff is powerful.
Even though I might want to be put out of misery and I'm extremely dismissive when sickI want you to know that I hardly ever hurt flies and I fear death like some kind of boogeyman. In fact, if I died I reckon I would come back just to finish my unfinished business... or I could be one of those scary ghosts, maybe I thought that would be funny. I'm going off subject here. Back on subject then...
Anyways, 'Let me Finish' is a book by Udo Grashoff, well it's put together by Udo anyways, Udo sure didn't write most of it. I bought this book for a $1 at a bookstore that was closing down once. I haven't got it anymore because I loaned it out, like many books to people, and I never got it back. The memory is there though, and long lasting. I am fascinated about the things that send a person over the edge that make them so desperate or hopeless that they would rather check on out than stick things out. Sometimes I wodner if there is something that can change their mind. This book is full of suicide notes (how morbid-I know), yet I read it cover to cover because there were so many stories in there. What do people write in their last memo? 'It's your fault' or 'I'm ashamed'?
I don't know how Udo was able to access these but the prompting experiences have ranged from divorce to debt to even boredom. What really made me sad was a letter from a young person to their parents because they had been called names by his parents for being messy, if I recall right a filthy pig? Yes. Some of them are sad. As the book doesn't really have a dialogue for the complete background of the deceased there is the potential to detach from the writer while reading to some extent. However there is still a little bit of backstory, although brief, for some so I wouldn't think you could come out completely unscathed. Be prepared and expect anything.
'Let Me Finish' is not for the faint hearted, I wouldn't say it was enjoyable but it is worth reading if you work in the field and are able to handle that kind of stuff. The letters are interesting and important to an insight of... maybe... to at least a certain extent. We can't blame ourselves for someone else taking their own life but i think it's really important to acknowledge the major impact we can have on other people that can be so significant to others.
Read if you dare.
-Mez